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Story: "I Saw Captain Kissing Santa Claus"
Rating: K+
Words: 3,351
Castle wasn’t used to Christmas being a time for horror.
He’d never had a singular experience during his most favourite of holidays that
he could say had, with no exaggeration, scarred him.
Until now.
The day had gone splendidly right up until the end, where in
the space of five minutes everything had suddenly spiraled downwards, a series
of events he could have never predicted. Reflecting back, years from now, he
might be able to find the humour. Until then he would recall the day with a
shudder of fear, confusion, and disbelief.
He’d only wanted to make his first Christmas with Beckett as
joyously memorable as possible. He was getting a week with Kate, alone, at
Christmas. Yes, he’d convinced her to take an entire week off! It was like all the best presents he’d ever received all
jammed together in the single, most wonderful thing that had ever been granted
to him, with a giant mess of Christmas cookies on top. Shadows settled in her eyes each December,
memories of happy times with people she’ll never see again. Those shadows had
always clawed at his heart. He’d made it his personal mission to use this
holiday to replace whatever darkness she harboured for it with love, light, and
warmth. They would spend Christmas Eve and Day at the loft with his mother and
daughter, even Jim Beckett would be joining them. Afterwards, though, they were
heading out to Jim’s cabin alone. The little house held a lot of history both
from Kate’s personal past, and her past with Castle, those long months apart
after she’d been shot. With some Holiday pizazz, Castle knew they could
override those dark memories and make it a perfect, romantic little snowy
haven. He’d been practically bouncing with anticipation ever since she’d agreed
to go.
Unfortunately for Beckett and her team the writer’s bouncing
had not ceased upon entering the subdued half of the precinct. For the final
days leading up to Kate’s leave you couldn’t run into him without being
bombarded by a Christmas tale, a mug of eggnog latte or worst of all, a song,
sung by a Santa-Hat clad writer. Yes, Castle held no compunction about caroling
through the bullpen. Some found it charming. Kate found it (secretly) cute at
first, but had then sunk back into her usual annoyance. Esposito and Ryan had
joined in at the start and the trio had sounded surprisingly good. Until
Captain Gates threw open her office door like a Grinch in high heels and
demanded that they cease their incessant nattering at once. Their stern leader had initially been open to a little
cheer in the precinct, much to their shock, but as Castle pushed and pushed,
she grew increasingly sullen. And then… well…
He still doesn’t know how he walked out of there alive.
It went down something like this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4:58pm, Friday, December 21, 2012
“Done!” Beckett sighs, closing the folder and letting it
drop to her desk. Castle’s shining eyes and gleaming smile follow its path.
Case closed, no new bodies. She was actually going to get
her week off. She couldn’t believe Castle had convinced her to take an entire week off. Their first Christmas together
and he seemed determined to get her in the Christmas mood no matter what she
had to say about it.
Right now, in this moment, she can tell Castle can’t hold it
back anymore. He fills his lungs, chest swelling with his happiness. Kate looks
up at him, her eyes widening as she realizes what’s about to happen.
“IIIIII saw Mommy kissing Saaanta Clauuuuse...”
“Mr. Castle!”
He flinches and slowly turns around.
Victoria Gates stands in her doorway, her red blouse shining
in the light of the string of baby icicles that flow over the doorways of the
precinct.
“Was I not clear, Mr. Castle, in my request that you not sing?”
“Umm…”
Her dark eyebrow rises high on her forehead.
“Apologies, Sir. I just can’t help myself!”
Her eyes narrow, not charmed by his helpless shrug and
boyish expression, the white bobble of his Santa Hat flopping over his ear. Her
body tenses to leave when words suddenly bubble up inside of him and he can’t
stop himself.
“What do you have against Christmas anyways?”
He hears Kate gasp beside him, her hand, hidden by the
corner of her desk, flies to the back of his knee and pinches hard.
Gates’ eyes pierce through him, holding him in place,
frozen.
“People will still be getting murdered, Christmas or no.
Someone has to keep working,” she replies tersely. “Not all of us get to prance
away on vacation with our families, Mr. Castle.” She slams her door shut.
Oh. Well. Great. Now he feels like a jerk. He’d never
thought about Gates in the context of a family. Did she have kids? He doesn’t
even know. He turns back to Beckett, looking forlorn.
“I suck,” he says quietly, falling to his chair. Her hand
moves to the top of his knee and squeezes
gently.
“You don’t suck, Castle,” she assures him. “It’s not your
fault you’re a hopeless Christmas fanatic.”
“I just wish everyone could love it as much as I do.”
She sighs. “You really are too sweet for your own good sometimes.”
He looks up at her and waggles his eyebrows. “Should I show
you my naughty side to balance things out?”
She laughs and shakes her head. “And then you say stuff like
that.”
“Well you did just close your case. And it is now 5:02 pm
thus you’re officially on vacation, so…”
“Eager to get me away?” she grins, putting some things away
in her desk drawers, making sure
everything is in place for her return in a week.
“Something like that.” He gives her a hot look, from her
face to her toes then back up again.
A whispered “Gross…” floats over to them from the vicinity
of Esposito’s desk.
“Oh please, Javi,” Kate scoffs. “Like we don’t all know you
and Lanie are spending Christmas together.”
“What!? How…?” he splutters, staring at them askance. Ryan
chuckles behind him.
“Whatever, honeymilk,” Esposito growls. “I’m not the one
who’s been bringing in custom decorated cookies every day and cooing over how
amazingly artistic Jenny is.”
Ryan makes a wooshing noise, his hand travelling over his
head to indicate his partner’s words flying right over him. “It’s the holidays,
man. I’m not ashamed to be spending them with someone I love.”
Kate’s hand squeezes Castle’s knee a little harder and his
heart skips a beat.
“You’re all disgusting,” Espo shakes his head. He stands up
and strides away muttering about grabbing something from his locker. As he
disappears from view the elevator pings and Lanie Parish strolls out.
“Oh good,” she nods towards everyone, “I wanted to catch you
all before you scamper off!”
“Whatsup, Lanie?” inquires Kate. Their friend didn’t often
make the trip from the morgue to the precinct.
“Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas in person,”
the doctor shrugs.
“We love when you visit,” Kate smiles widely, standing up to
hug her friend. Castle swoops in next, grabbing the ME and encasing her in a
giant bear hug.
“Woah, woah, save that love for someone else,” Lanie winks
and looks pointedly at Beckett.
“Sssh!” the detective hisses, glancing furtively at the
Captain’s door.
Lanie rolls her eyes as she goes to talk to Ryan.
Castle’s hand covers Kate’s, his broad palm and thick
fingers creating a warm cocoon. He leans in and whispers in her ear.
“Ready to go?”
“Just have to send off one more email.”
Her hand leaves his leg and the spot it lay on is instantly
cold. He sits back in his chair, watching as her fingers fly over the keyboard,
faster than usual. His insides hum. The detective is just as eager to leave as
he. His knee starts bouncing impatiently, his fingers drawing random designs on
his pant leg, thinking of snowball fights and hot chocolate and crackling
fires.
“Done!”
He leaps up and holds his hand out to her. Looking up at his
bright blue eyes she can’t not take
his hand, precinct propriety falling to the back of her mind in the face of his
exuberance. She lets go once she’s standing, though, remembering the touchy
Captain stewing in her office.
“Let’s go,” Kate whispers giddily. She straightens her back
and keeps her walk even, not too fast, not too slow, betraying no outward
appearance of excitement. Castle bounds towards the elevator, impatiently
pushing the button several times. The door slides open but just as they’re
about to step in they hear a bark from Gates.
“Hold on you two,” she calls from her office door. “Don’t
think you’re getting out that easy.”
The couple turns to each other, frowning. What did they do
this time? They’ve been so careful!
“I refuse to have that monstrosity of a gingerbread house
sitting in my break room growing moldy through the holidays. I told you that
explicitly when you brought it in; when you go, it goes.”
Castle’s face scrunches up. Right. He had said he would
clean it up. The duo takes a step when yet another holler rings through the
bullpen.
“Woah there guys!” Esposito cries, back at his desk. “Can’t
leave yet!”
“Detective?” Gates questions.
“Look up,” the smug looking Latino orders.
With a sense of dread, Beckett tilts her head back and looks
up.
Yup.
Mistletoe.
She brings her head down slowly and levels her friend with
an A-Class Beckett Glare.
The detective has the nerve to shrug innocently and grin at
her.
“Beckett?” Castle questions softly. He looks down at her with
his blue eyes, letting her know it’s completely up to her how she wants to
handle this.
“Is there a reason you’re stalling?” Gates cuts in.
Castle’s eyes fly to that of his Captain. Had Iron Gates really just said that!? She
leans against the side of the doorframe, arms crossed, brows arched once more.
“Umm…” he stumbles.
“Aren’t you the one who insisted we celebrate, Mr. Castle?
Forced traditions on us whether we wanted them or not?”
She’s messing with him, daring him, but he doesn’t know if
he’s supposed to go through with it or pull away. Kate takes the decision out
of his hands. The next thing he knows he has slender hands wrapped around his
neck and a soft, luscious mouth pressed against his.
Kate is kissing him. In the middle of the precinct. In front
of Captain Gates.
It’s a Christmas Miracle.
People are whistling and cheering and she pulls back after
only a few seconds but it’s one of the best kisses she’s ever given him. His
eyes are wide and hazy as he looks down at her and finds he can’t speak. For a
moment the precinct is still, silent, breaths being held by detectives and
bystanders alike.
“Well now that we’re through with that, you can clean my
break room.” And Gates closes the door behind her.
“She didn’t kill us,” Castle squeaks, finally finding his
voice.
“Or kick you out,” Kate adds wonderingly.
“The spirit of Christmas,” Castle breathes. “It’s magical.”
Kate has to agree with him on this one.
“Come on,” she says, nudging him before starting towards the
break room. “We have to clean your mess.”
“Not just my mess,” he protests, following her. “You helped
decorate.”
The break room, if it was up to Castle, would be a riot of
lights, glitter and tinsel, baked goods on every surface. As it stands a lone
gingerbread house sits in the middle of the table and a few holiday mugs
surround the coffee machine. Something about keeping it simple because they
still had to parade bad guys through the bullpen. Bad guys can like Christmas
too, can’t they? Maybe some more good cheer would help the city out.
“Oh yeah, such a mess,” he mutters as he comes to stand
beside the table. Kate grabs the edge of the garbage can and starts pulling.
“What are you doing?” he gasps in horror.
“What do you think?”
“You can’t throw it out!”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s a Gingerbread House!”
“So?”
“So they’re sacred, beautiful things! They can’t be gotten
rid of until after Christmas!”
“Well we’re certainly not bringing it home with us.”
She just called his
loft home.
“We could…”
“No, Castle, we’re not eating it.”
“But…”
“Do you want to be sick for the next week?” she slinks
towards him, her eyes suddenly dark, her lashes lowered. “Because I kinda had
plans for you.” She reaches up and flicks the bobble of his hat.
He swallows roughly. “Ok, no eating.”
“No eating,” she shakes her head and brushes a hand down his
wide chest, the chest that’s swathed by a deep green, soft, soft cashmere
sweater.
“Throwing out,” he adds glumly.
“Throwing out,” she smiles and pats his shoulder. He wants
to kiss her again but there’s no mistletoe and he doesn’t want to push his
luck.
“Let’s do this quickly then,” he announces, hand shooting
out in a karate chop and smashing the side of the house in. “Hoowa!”
She laughs and the sound is more beautiful than any Christmas
bells.
“You always find the upside to things don’t you?”
“You find the upside to quite a few things too,” he smirks,
glancing at her hands and then down to his pants. She narrows her eyes at him
but doesn’t speak, grabbing broken pieces of gingerbread and swiftly throwing
them out.
They work in unison, a perfect team, and within minutes the
break room is cleaned of its ‘terrible mess’
“Alright!” Castle punches the air in victory. “Now we can go!” He makes it to the door
in two long strides.
“Not so fast Mr. Castle.” A perfectly manicured nail pokes
him in the chest, the imposing figure of the Captain, suddenly in front of him,
stopping him dead. Gates peers around him, her shrewd eyes scanning the break
room for any imperfection. Her lips purse as she finds none.
“Very well,” she concedes. Castle breathes a sigh of relief.
“By the way,” she continues, and her voice drops down several levels. “I know a
first kiss when I see one.” She looks pointedly between him and Beckett. “And
when I don’t.”
He gulps, unable to see his partner but knowing her eyes are
probably wide and panicked. She knows. The Captain knows.
But she says nothing more, just takes a step back.
And this is the moment where everything changes.
“Woah there!” Esposito calls for the second time that
evening. The Captain whirls around.
“Excuse me, detective?”
He stands to his full height, straight and tall, and points
to their heads. The Captain and the writer look up simultaneously.
Mistletoe.
Yup.
Mistletoe.
Castle’s heart stops, dread flooding his veins as he looks
towards the elevator. No more mistletoe. Someone moved it while he and Beckett
were cleaning up the gingerbread. This was all planned out. This is an
elaborate, evil scheme to get him kicked out of the precinct forever. When the
kiss between him and Kate failed, the devious Grinchster had brought out the
big guns.
There is seriously no way that… because honestly… it’s the
Captain! The Captain who hates him and wants nothing more than for him to be
gone. How could Esposito do this? Was he drunk? Did he have accomplices? He
thought the boys were his friends! His head swivels on his shoulders, staring
beseechingly at his partner.
Save me.
I can’t.
What do I do?
I have no idea.
“It’s tradition, after all,” Ryan offers meekly.
“Kevin!” Castle hisses, unable to believe the usually
compassionate detective is encouraging this. He squeezes his eyes shut, sure
that this is a dream, some cruel nightmare he’ll wake up to soon. He’s really
just in bed right now, a soft, warm Kate draped over him in tiny red lingerie
that he gets to unwrap. He opens his eyes and looks down. Dark brown eyes look
up at him, pinched around the edges. Even with heels she’s quite short. And
scary. And terrifying. And his boss. Kind of.
“Is the prospect of kissing me so horrifying, Mr. Castle?”
How the hell is he even supposed to answer that?
“Umm… no ma’am. Captain. Sir, I just…”
“Just what?”
He flounders, mouth opening and closing but no words are
forthcoming. Her hands move to her hips as she looks up at him and he has never
been more unsure of what to do in his life. He can feel the presence of his
girlfriend at his back, the stares of his friends from in front. It’s like the
universe is testing him, seeing if he’s truly worthy of having Kate at his side
through Christmas. He has to earn this vacation? Fine. He loves Kate and now
that he has her, nothing will stand in his way. Not even Captain Victoria
“Iron” Gates.
He takes a deep breath, narrows his eyes and quirks the side
of his mouth up in that way that drives Kate crazy. His hands move to the
Captain’s, removing them from her hips and replacing them with one of his own,
the other moving to the back of her neck. Her eyes grow wide in the split
second before his lips are on hers, his strong arms dipping her backwards. Her
hands fly to his arms in surprise and there are no cheers and whistles to
underscore this kiss, only gasps and a whispered “Oh my…” He holds on for several moments, using his many
and varied skills to show the Captain exactly what tradition means to him. With
a flourish he pulls her upright, pulling away from her with a loud and roguish
smacking sound.
“Merry Christmas, Victoria,” he says, his voice low and
confident. He lets go of her stunned figure, turns to his equally stunned
lover, grabs her by the hand, and pulls her towards the elevator. It opens in
an instant and he swaggers in.
“And Merry Christmas to you all,” he cries.
The elevator doors close.
His face turns white as a sheet and his knees give out. He
crumples to the ground with a thump, Kate falling to her knees beside him.
“Oh my god,” he chants. “What the hell just happened? What
did I do? Why would the boys do that to me?”
Kate sits and leans against the wall beside him, grabbing
his hand and squeezing it hard. “I don’t know,” she whispers, staring numbly at
the door in front of her.
“She knows about us,” Castle whispers. “And I… I…”
“You kissed her.”
“I kissed her.”
The elevator is silent for a few moments but for their
ragged breathing. Castle reaches up and tears the bright red hat from his head,
scrubbing his hands roughly through his hair.
“I kissed Captain Gates.”
“Rather thoroughly.”
“Oh my god I know what her lipstick tastes like.”
“Castle! I really do not
need to hear…”
“Ok, ok, I’m sorry.”
More silence.
“What’s going to happen in a week?” he wonders aloud.
“Should I just give up? Avoid being kicked out by just never coming back?”
“No,” she replies instantly, “No, you should….”
He looks at her pleadingly.
“We,” she corrects, “Should just enjoy our holiday
together.”
“Ignore this you mean?”
“Exactly. Just… pretend this never happened. Please.”
She’d thought the image of bikini clad reporters was bad.
The way Gate’s red high heel had flown into the air as her leg lifted off the
ground in surprise as Castle tipped her backwards…
“Never happened,” Castle repeats in a daze.
“Never happened.”
The elevator pings and they quickly stand up. Castle
suspiciously inspects the top edge of the elevator doors to make sure no green
surprises await them before stepping out.
They’re silent for the drive to his loft, soft Christmas
music emanating from the radio and underlying the awkwardness. They finally
enter his parking garage and he parks smoothly, quickly grabbing her bag from
the trunk, just a few extra things she’d packed for their trip to the cabin.
When Castle takes her hand in the elevator up, Kate thinks of how the last
thing it had held was Captain Gates’ waist.
They’re shocked out of their stupor with loud cries of
“Merry Christmas!” as soon as the loft door opens, the inside of his home
alight with tasteful decorations interspersed with homemade and personal
touches.
“Your first Christmas together!” Martha exclaims
dramatically. “Oh I’m just so happy for you two.”
“It’s gonna be so romantic!” Alexis shouts. “And the romance
starts now!”
The Castle women are buzzing with excitement, having both
taken the role of holiday matchmaker to the extreme, not having seen the man of
the house so happy with someone in, well, ever. In perfect harmony they point
upwards.
Oh god.
The partners look up.
Yup.
Mistletoe.
Spiky little green bundle of chaos.
Aaaargh!
The End
I LOVED this one!!! AWESOMELY funny! Involving ALL the characters! PLUS a HILARIOUS twist at the end!
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